A new tactic

So many of my friends have been losing their jobs recently that I am going to have to change my ringtone to Taps.  It’s almost May; I guess I figured everything would have fixed itself by now.  But maybe I am, like so many Americans, guilty of wishful thinking.  Examples: I wish the economy would get fixed; I wish to lose weight but still eat lots of Oreos; I wish I had a job.  Well, sort of.  I sort of wish I had a means of making lots of money that didn’t involve waking up at 7:00 in the morning and putting on pants first thing.  But I guess I will have to wait for this blog to become profitable for that to happen.

What am I doing?  Today I watched NCIS for at least three hours while I did research online about jobs.  I have gone through a lot of phases while I have been unemployed: the hopeful phase, which was right at the beginning, and in which I was sure I was going to get a job right away; the blithe phase, where I still didn’t have a job but was sure it didn’t matter because I was collecting unemployment and kept getting freelance offers; the worried phase, where I started to be concerned about the fact that I was not getting a job and that I actually was unhirable because of my resume; the angry phase, which I think came after my fifth rejection after an interview; the depressed phase, which I think is self-explanatory; and now, the Holy Fucking Shit, I Have To Get A Job Right Away So I Had Better Fucking Work This Shit Out.  As the French would say, le débrouillage.  At least, I think they would say that.  I haven’t spoken French in a while.

I sort of like being in this new phase, though.  Last week it energized me to apply for lots and lots of jobs, as well as to vacuum, as well as to bake two cakes.  Both of which turned out badly.

And today I accidentally kicked my cat in the face.

Why did I start writing this?  I don’t remember.  New topic.

I am doing my best now not to be too narrow in my search for employment, but sometimes I get on kicks and I tend to put myself on a single track—usually bound for Failureton.  I recently have decided to expand my job search beyond St. Louis.  Which was a good idea in theory.  But now: I am only looking for jobs in Chicago.  How did that happen?  I mean, yes yes, it is a larger city and therefore a larger market, but I have no connections there and I shouldn’t get bogged down in applying for a job in one city.  Especially not another city that was in Forbes’s list of the ten most miserable cities in the US.  Besides.  I have gotten three rejection letters from Chicago in two business days.  But all press is good press, right?

I can’t help it, though; this is the way I work about things.  I can really only focus on one thing at a time, and personally I think it’s a great step that I can write multiple cover letters in one day now.  My natural tendency would be to write a cover letter, send in the application, and obsess about the job until I am sure I haven’t gotten it.  So the fact that I’ve done like twenty applications in one week is good, right?  That means I’m more likely to get a job, right?  RIGHT?!

Dear Hiring Manager: I really am not such a spaz.  I look forward to hearing from you about this exciting opportunity.  Please contact me at the email address or phone number listed below.  Desperately yours, Me.